Friday, September 14, 2007

In Memory

Bumped into my ex-colleague 2 weeks ago at Wheelock Place after dinner with hubby. Through our brief conversation, got to know her in law was sick. The very next day when I reached office, I sent her an email, sharing my own experience with the main intention of encouraging her to keep on going.

Did not expect a reply from her but not long after I sent out my email, received a response from her. She was surprised to know what had happened to my mum and even amazed at how I remained bubbly even though my mum has been sick for the past 3 years...

Last Saturday, we had prayers to commemorate mum's 100 days. Eldest sis stood beside me and was weeping through the prayers. Till today, she is still struggling to adjust her lifestyle after our parents left us. Well, at least she was fortunate enough that my parents were around to help her take care of her children, when she gave birth to her 2 sons 10 years ago. Gine and Gregory were not as lucky though...

Then, during the prayers, I was depressed that my parents were no longer with us, that Regine can no longer play with 'gong gong' and 'mama' (I can imagine how my dad will dote on her since she is the only granddaughter in the family), that I can no longer visit them every day after work, that I have no one to turn to when I have my down moments in life. Tears lined my eyes but an inner voice told me not to cry...

Memories of me holding my dad's hand flashed back in my mind. How I worried about his safety before he had his cataract operation (dad can't see at night then but was still driving, sometimes even without someone sitting beside him), how I held his hand and led him in the Vesak Day lights procession in Phor Kark See Temple (dad was so appreciative then and could remember how mum was so proud of me and went around telling all her friends and relatives about this filial daughter of hers. *grin*)...

Came back to office this week and have been trying to find a relevant video that was able to reflect my emotions. Just can't find the right one till yesterday when I came across the City of Angels mv - Angel by Sarah MCLACHLAN.

In my heart, I know that I can no longer hold my dad's hand nor touch him physically. All I wish is that I am in the arms of the ANGEL (my parents), and find some comfort here...

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